Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Study Finds Calendar To Be Best Way To Know When Spring Will Arrive

Every February, we're all on the lookout for the telltale signs of spring's return. A warm day? A bit of rain? A March 20th? The scientists over at The Institute of Science, Inc. have finally discovered what determines most reliably when the eagerly awaited first day of Spring will be:


The date

Even more reliable than the the skittishness of a ground-dwelling rodent or the ever-reliable "It seems to be getting warmer", is the date.

When asked for comment from Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania town officials, we were told to "go fuck ourselves".

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